“There is a vitality, a life-force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all of time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and it will be lost. The world will not have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is nor how valuable nor how it compares with other expressions. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open. You do not even have to believe in yourself or your work. You have to keep yourself open and aware to the urges that motivate you. Keep the channel open. … No artist is pleased. [There is] no satisfaction whatever at any time. There is only a queer divine dissatisfaction, a blessed unrest that keeps us marching and makes us more alive than the others” Martha Graham as told to Agnes B. DeMille in the 1991 book.“ The life and work of Martha Graham.”
Listen. These words remind me to listen.
I ask myself “Have I listened enough?”, “Do I truly listen to myself and my inner motivation?”, “Do I allow myself the time and the energy to follow the subconscious message?”, “Is my channel open?”
My fear to overcome is being too “full of myself”.
But, Oprah says “Be full of yourself”, this message from/ by Martha Graham reads, “be full of yourself”.
Holy Cow! That scares the crap out of me. Will I like myself, if I’m full of myself? I want to be loved. If I’m too full of myself will people still love me, will my Mom still love me? As a child, my Mom would say “don’t be so full of yourself.” and “who do you think you are?” If I’m full of myself, will my Mom who has long since passed, still love me? At this age, I know she will and did. She was very proud of my accomplishments. It was she who helped me be the achiever and who give me a very determined spirit.
But the cloud of doubt and fear hoovers over my head. My friend, Art Barkman, calls it the creeping FUD – Fear, Uncertainty and Doubt! It creeps. Just when you think you are being open and accepting of your personal path. The Creeping FUD appears.
As Martha says, ”Keep the channel open. … No artist is pleased. [There is] no satisfaction whatever at any time. There is only a queer divine dissatisfaction, a blessed unrest that keeps us marching and makes us more alive than the others”.
I truly believe that is the case. Keep listening.