by Linda on July 17, 2017

Be Tender

Being tender does take a little practice. I would recommend you practice stoicism.


It is an ancient Greek school of philosophy founded at Athens by Zeno of Citium. The school taught that virtue, the highest good, is based on knowledge, and that the wise live in harmony with the divine Reason (also identified with Fate and Providence) that governs nature, and are indifferent to the vicissitudes of fortune and to pleasure and pain. (credit wikipedia)

            Be Tender in meetings – what does that have to do with stoicism?

Stoicism is being in control of our behavior in uncertain circumstances. We need to be strong, steadfast and most of all in control.  When we are in control we can be tender

Occasionally meetings run amuck.  Perhaps, your best employee has had a bad day and during this meeting that person  is behaving badly.  If you are not in control of your emotions, mindful of the minute you are living, you might say or do something inappropriate. You are the leader and your inappropriate words maybe hurtful, demeaning and threatening.  Your best employee quits.  If you were tender that may not have happened.

Be stoic,  be thoughtful of your words and most of all be tender.  If you need an exercise or two, watch Tim Ferriss Ted talk.

Being tender is being a stoic leader.  Turn things around by being tender and patient. Expand the possibilities for yourself by doing a few exercises about what you fear most.

What do you fear, what is the worst thing that can happen,  what is the good that can happen?

“Choose not to be harmed and you won’t feel harmed. Don’t feel harmed and you haven’t been.” -Marcus Aurelius

Thank you to Frank Banish for his photograph



{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

Aarti Agarwal July 21, 2017 at 10:54 AM

In Indian philosophy, we are said to remember that a wound on tongue heals the fastest, but a wound given by tongue heals never. Hence be tender with your tongue.
Yeah but I agree being in control of your emotions certainly helps in being tender.


Linda July 21, 2017 at 11:10 AM

thank you for your comment. Being tender with your tongue is a very important leadership skill. And I absolutely agree with you about being in control of our emotions. Occassionally, they leak out like the drip from the hole in the roof. The saddest of all.


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